Tuesday 27 July 2010

Hello My Name Is.....

Recently, I attended our Canadian National Baptist Convention.  It was a fantastic week which our whole family loved.  One of the events was a luncheon for Pastor's wives, which was truly a blessing for lots of reasons but one in particular was that at the lunch I received a book. This book was a bible study for minister's wives written by minister's wives so while I was away at the cottage last week I decided to take some time and discover what the authors had to say.

One of the exercises that caught my attention and has put my brain into overdrive was to write in my journal, "Hello my Name is Kimberley" and then to write Who Kimberley is.  The only rule was that in explaining who I am I was not allowed to use the words wife, mother, sister, daughter or what I do for a living or an occupation.  Seemed simple enough.  Well, it wasn't simple and I had real trouble.  I realize that I often define myself by who I am to those around me.  The problem with this is that life is full of different seasons and what I do will changes during my life time.  About five years ago I sold a business that I had spent ten years building in order to stay home with my kids.  Although I loved being at home for them I had a real hard time adjusting to my new life.  Looking back I can see that in my mind, my worth was all wrapped in the success of how I ran my business.  I had defined myself by something that would not last.

Five years later in doing this exercise I realized I was doing it again.  The first things that came to my mind when I think of who is Kimberley, is that I am a pastor's wife and a mother and a daughter to fantastic parents.  I am really blessed to be all of these things but I realize if my worth is all wrapped up in who I am to others and if these roles change, how does that affect my worth?  Do I use my husband's job description, my kids and my parents to hide the real me?  And who is that real me and how do I define her when a I strip away everything else?

Yikes... tough questions for which I had no quick fix answers.  This exercise prompted me to have some really frank conversations with myself and to dig into scripture to see who God says I am.  I want to define myself as the women God created me to be because I know God will last and He doesn't change.  So who do I think He created me to be?  I spent a lot of time meditating on Acts 4:13 which reasonated with me as my life verse years and years ago.  So recognizing that I am always a work in progress and that much of my head knowledge still needs to be transformed fully into my heart, this is who I with Christ's help am striving to be.

"Hello my name is Kimberley. I am a women who strives to live a life in which those around will recognize that I have spent time with Jesus."

It has been a good exercise.  So if you were asked to define yourself without using the roles you currently have in life what would your name tag look like?

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