Facing My Doubt

This is my second morning sitting on our porch, reading my bible and praying.  I am being drawn out here where I can read God's word and pray.

God is doing something in me and I am restless.  Not only am I restless but I am a bit concerned about where all of this is going to lead.  Have you ever had that feeling?  I can't put down my bible and yet if I am honest with myself there is part of me that wants to put it down because I am afraid of what God will reveal.  You see deep down I like comfort.  I like my life.  I love my kids and my husband and my family.  I have been aware for some time now that the cost for me to follow Christ has not been high.  My parents did not disown me.  I do not fear for my life.  Our Canadian culture, although not joyfully receptive that I follow Christ, does not persecute me because of my profession of faith.  Our family has been free to leave our friends at a church we love in order to move to a new city to start a new church.  Really, in comparison to what others have had to give up in order to follow Jesus, the cost on my life has been minimal.  I love Jesus and my heart's desire is bring glory and honour to Him with my life but I have been wondering as of late if I like my life to look too much like the lives of others?

I am currently reading through Colossians.  Paul is imprisoned in Rome and although he had never met the people of Colossae they are on his heart and he writes them a letter that is speaking to my heart in so many ways.  The city of Colossae reminds me of my new home in Hamilton.  The mixture of backgrounds made that city an interesting cultural centre where all sorts of new ideas and doctrines were discussed, considered and encouraged.  I have found much of that same environment here.

Paul writes, "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."(Colossians 2:8)

I am really struggling with that scripture.  At first I thought, "Oh that is not me." but as I have pondered on the rest of the chapter I have realized that God is speaking very clearly to my heart.  By the time I got to the last three verses of the chapter I was beginning to see that I can very easily deceive myself in my relationship with Christ.

"If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!”  (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence."  ~ Colossians 2:20-23

Ouch that hits home......things that appear and look good and wise to us are of no value?  How have I allowed the world and the expectations of our culture to creep into my relationship with Jesus?  What things do I do that make me look good by the world's standards or even by our Christian culture standards but really do not bring glory to Christ?  What would my faith look like outside of my Canadian culture? All these questions make me a bit nervous and I think David Platt, in his book Radical, really communicates my own fears best.

"I was now confronted with a startling reality: Jesus actually spurned the things that my church culture said were most important.  So what was I to do? I found myself faced with two big questions.  The first was simple.  Was I going to believe Jesus?  Was I going to embrace Jesus even though he said radical things that drove crowds away?  The second was more challenging.  Was I going to obey Jesus? My biggest fear, even now, is that I will hear Jesus words and walk away, content to settle for less than radical obedience to him." ~ David Platt

Yep,  David nails it.  My fear is to really examine if am I believing Jesus and am I obeying Him.  Not a lip service belief and response but a whole hearted absolute surrender to His Will in every aspect of my life all the time.  I want to be radical but I am not sure what that looks like exactly.  I want to live life here on earth always in response to Jesus.  I don't want to blend into the neighbourhood.  I don't want to cling to short-term treasures that I can't keep anyway.  I want every moment of my life to be invested in things that are eternal always keeping mind a mental picture of the day when I will stand before God giving an account of my stewardship of this life.  

So as I sit here I am praying that God will do the impossible and change my heart.  I can't do it.  I am just like the eleven disciples in verse 17 of Matthew 28.  "When they saw Him, They worshiped Him; but some were doubtful." And so, as I start my day, I am hanging on to Jesus' response to their worship and the last words that Matthew records:

"And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

I Want to Be Fearless

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

~ Ephesians 6:12

I didn't notice the broken window or the glass on the ground in the backyard but as I gazed around our living room strewn with the contents of our drawers and shelves and cupboards,  I realized something wasn't right.  Somehow though my brain didn't put two and two together until Jason said to me, "We've been robbed."  What ensued from that point on was lots of emotions, lots of calming our youngest daughter down that the bad guy would not come back, lots of dealing with police and a finger-print expert and a great friend who fixed our window and lots of clean-up.

The next day I posted the above Ephesians scripture on Facebook.  My good friend Anita wrote back right away with this comment.  

"Stand firm girl....shield lifted high, helmet on and sword raised....."

I thought about that comment all day and realized that I had forgotten the context of the scripture that I had posted.  Yes, I had recognized that it was really not about the thief that invaded our house because our struggle is not against flesh and blood but there is more.   What I had neglected to make sure I remembered was,  how was I going to dress for the occasion!  Below is what I need so that I do not allow the enemy to use this to gain a foothold and to discourage me about our safety and security in our house and about our ministry here.   As I read God's words and allowed them to sink in I knew I did not want to go into this battle unprotected.

The Armor of God

 ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. 

~ Ephesians 6:10-20

I have to admit that I am a pacifist at heart and I don't like weapons that shoot projectiles of any kind...guns, arrows....automatic nailers!  I don't like shoot 'em up games or knights that fight so it took me a long time to really connect to the whole battle armor imagery in this scripture.  But once I started to see it from a protective point of view that God wants to give us all the resources and tools that we needed to protect ourselves then I really began to dig into this treasure.  I love that the scripture says, "Put on the full armor of God..."  There are different pieces of equipment that I need and they all go together to protect me fully.   If I forget a piece I leave myself vulnerable.  If I am vulnerable I can not be fearless in God's purpose for my life.  I want to be fearless.

You may not have had somebody break into your house lately and steal your things but you may be going through something else that is difficult or is discouraging you.  Don't let it become a stronghold.  As my wise friend Anita says, 

"Stand firm girl....shield lifted high, helmet on and sword raised....."

What do you think?

My husband Jason posted this question yesterday on his blog and I would really love to know what people think so please comment.  I will concur with Jason that we both continue struggle with this and have not come to a resolution and yet we both feel it is an important question.

So have a read at what he wrote and leave a comment.  We would love to hear your thoughts.

http://jasonmcgibbon.blogspot.com/2011/07/disciples-and-rrsps-any-thoughts.html

Wednesdays - What's so cool about Hamilton?

We have been trying this summer to get to know our new city a little better.  So each Wednesday I am going to try to post about something cool that we have discovered in Hamilton.

Last week, we had the privilege of hosting a couple of friends who came to visit from North Carolina.  It was fun to take them around town and do some touristy type things.  On Sunday night, we decided to visit the waterfront and to take tour on the Hamilton Waterfront Trolley.  This trackless trolley follows along the 12 kilometers of shoreline of the western part of the harbour.  There is lots to see and the trolley makes twelve stops along the way where you can get off and then back on.  If you stay on the trolley for the whole tour it is about 80 minutes.  Pretty good for the price which is $5.00 for adults and $3.00 for children (4-12) children 3 and under are free!  The trip is suppose to be narrated but our conductor was rather silent.  This was my only disappointment of the night, since we are new to the area it would have been great to hear some commentary about the great view along the way.

 

Shelly and TJ smile as we start on our trip!

Caroline and Kelly sittin' pretty as we depart.

Fantastic murals by local elementary students decorate the docks.

The steel mills loom in the distance

Up close and personal with the SS Haida

I loved all the murals by local students that adorned the warehouses along the docks.  The fantastic colours were a wonderful surprise along the way.  The kids were fascinated with the steel mills and ships in the distance.  I really liked the HMCS Haida which has been named a National Historic Site and is the last remaining example of 27 Tribal Class Destroyer built between 1937 and 1945.  It was huge and driving right up beside this large ship was fascinating.  I wanted a picture of the massive anchor but I was on the wrong side of the trolley so I couldn't get a good shot.  Maybe we will have to tour it at some point so it can have it's own post!

Beautiful scenery along the trail

Heading toward Princess Point

Lots of birds along the way but most were too fast for my camera

 Lush greenery dominated the scene as we made our way to Bayfront Park, Fishway and finally Princess Point.  Wonderful benches, trails, marinas and wildlife were seen along the way.  This looked to be a great place to run, bike or roller blade.  As the sun began to set as we left Princess Point for our return trip home the beauty of this place began to sink in.  Below are my favourite pictures of the night.  The first is of Shelly and TJ looking out over Cootes Paradise and the second is the sun setting near Pier Four.  All in all this was a fabulous way to spend a warm summer night in Hamilton!

Beautiful

A Life Update - God is always surprising me

It seems like forever since I have written.  It is not that I have nothing to say but more that life is moving so fast I don't even know where to begin! 

 Daniel turned 16 years old last week.  Yep, I am officially old.  We celebrated by hanging out together as a family and going to get ice cream cones at Hewitt's Dairy Bar.  Yum.  We are so proud of Daniel and the young man that he is becoming.  He leaves this Friday to head out west with his Grandma and Grandpa to go to the Canadian National Baptist Convention and then head to Northern Alberta for his first mission trip.  I have told him not to wonder off as this city boy is not used to bears!

Daniel

Caroline has just finished her bronze star in swimming which she passed with flying colours.  Her goal is to get her NLS when she is 16 and she is well on her way.  I think she wants to guard at Ryerson Camp so she can spend her whole summers there, instead of just a week when we stay there for family camp.   She has made some good friends on our new street so for now she is looking forward to the summer here in the city.  I am looking forward to spending some one on one time with her too.

Caroline

Liam is thrilled to have school all finished for the year and to have summer beginning.  For the past few months, he has been playing drums for our worship team in Milton.   Liam is still playing with us even though our time in Milton has ended.  He came and played with Jason and I on the street corner in Hamilton this past Saturday.  What fun we had playing and giving out candy instead of asking for money.  We are looking forward to spending some time with Liam this summer, as he accompanies Jason and I to Alabama for a global missions celebration where we will play some music and lead a children's program.

Liam

Trinity Joy is so full of life that we can barely keep up!  TJ has been busy this year learning to read and blasting through all her grade 1 school work so she will start grade 2 next year.  She has loved moving and meeting all the new neighbours on our street.  She is still enjoying acting and has been having a great time at auditions and call backs.  In a couple weeks she will be attending a triple threat camp where she gets to sing, dance and act each day for a whole week.  She is off tonight at a birthday party for new friends that she meet on our street.  I asked her if she was nervous because she wouldn't know anyone except her two friends.  Her response was "No way mom, I will have so many friends by the end of the night!"

Trinity Joy

Jason is out tonight shooting a new video with a band he plays with called Before the Flood.  He has been going at the speed of light lately so I don't have new photos of him.  Only this one where he is making fun of his on-screen self at the SBC annual convention.  Honestly, sometimes I think he is the most unlikely missionary there is!  As Caroline says, "He is all him."  We are hoping to play some more on Locke Street this summer and maybe even hit a few open mics at the local venues.  The goal really is to just immerse ourselves in our new community and meet as many people as we can. 

Jason - wondering who made him a poster child?

As for myself, I am getting used to being a city girl.  I like our neighbourhood much more than I thought I would and now I am determined to learn more about our new city.  I have a new buggie cart so I can walk to get my groceries and we just bought a share in a local farm.  It is funny, I used to live closer to the country with farms all around but now I live in a big city and my veggies come each week from a farmer and tomorrow I am going to meet our street's egg man who will deliver each Thursday to our front door.  You would think that in a city with over 500,000 people you wouldn't know your neighbours but they all hang out on their front porches, while the kids play in the street and we see them every night.  Over 20 of our new neighbours came for a BBQ at our house on Sunday.  We had a great time and look forward to getting to know them better. 

So there you have it an official update of what is going on at the McGibbon Zoo which has now moved all the animals to the city.  Yes, it is a big change and change can be scary but change can be good.  So as we look forward to starting summer this week I am a bit shocked that I am not wishing I was back in the familiar, in the ministry that I loved, with my friends who I adore.  I am surprised to find myself looking forward to being here, right where we are.  Hamilton is really not what I expected.  God is always surprising me and I can't wait to see what is around the bend.

Just me

Church Planting

As I mentioned in my last post,  Jason is in Phoenix, Arizona at the SBC Annual Convention.   Last night,  Jason got a chance to participate in the North American Mission Board Presentation.  He was able to talk a little bit about why we would sell our home, leave a church we love and move our family to a new city.   NAMB created and showed this video about the network of churches we have been involved in over the past ten years and the vision they have to give themselves away to plant other churches.  Lots of great memories.....thanks to all those at NAMB who do so much to help support us in spreading the gospel by telling God's stories.  You all amaze me.

Sometimes I Love Technology

My husband is away this week at the SBC Annual Convention in Phoenix, Arizona and I am in charge of holding down the fort at home.  I was pretty excited to learn that they are live streaming both the pastors conference and the annual meeting.  Yeah!  So even though I am at home I can experience some of the worship and the great speakers right here in my living room!  This is even better news for me as we are being appointed as North American Mission Board Church Planting Missionaries and Jason will be part of the appointment service on Tuesday at about 7:50pm my time.  So now I will get to see that appointment and feel apart of it.   Sometimes I love technology!

If you are interested you can watch too at this link.  Then click on the icon that says watch the event live on the Internet.

The following is who is speaking and when at the Pastor's Conference....

MONDAY MORNING, JUNE 13
Session Length: 8:30am-11:30am (Phoenix Time which is 3 hours behind Hamilton time!)

The Monday morning session will feature music by the ASPIRE Worship Team, video highlights of God’s activity as well as features on church planting in North America. In addition, there will be a special Ministry Development presentation by one of the ASPIRE partners.
This session will include preaching from church planter Paul Gotthardt, church planter Darrin Patrick, Bartholomew Orr and Gregg Matte.
Paul Gotthardt (8:45am)
Darrin Patrick (9:30am)
Bartholomew Orr (10:15am)
Gregg Matte (11:00am)

MONDAY AFTERNOON, JUNE 13
Session Length: 1:30pm-4:00pm (Phoenix time)

The Monday afternoon session will feature music by the ASPIRE Worship Team and Choir, video highlights of God’s activity as well as features on church planting in North America.
This session will include preaching from Afshin Ziafat, Ken Whitten and John Piper.
Afshin Ziafat (1:45pm)
Ken Whitten (2:30pm)
John Piper (3:30pm)

MONDAY EVENING, JUNE 13
Session Length: 6:00pm-8:30pm (Phoenix Time)

The final session of the 2011 Pastors’ Conference will feature music by the ASPIRE Worship Team and Choir, video highlights of God’s activity as well as features on church planting in North America. David Platt will be doing a special appeal for the nations prior to receiving the offering during this session. Following the preaching, Rick Warren will lead us in a special time of commitment and calling for 1000 Pastors/Churches to engage in church planting in the pioneer areas of North America.
This session will include preaching from Louie Giglio and Rick Warren.
Louie Giglio (6:30pm)
Rick Warren (7:40pm)